


Taking it one day at a time

by Lonaargh



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Dating, Depression, Diary/Journal, Dreams, Drinking, Embedded Images, First Kiss, Hangover, Hiccups, Illness, Longing, M/M, Magic, Memories, Overly Dramatic, Palace life, Timeline What Timeline, dead parents are dead, handwritten, like a year or so, mention of violence, pre-game, salty bitters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:34:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 6,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22067089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonaargh/pseuds/Lonaargh
Summary: Julian opens the package he received from Portia. He frowns when he sees its contents: a brand-new notebook.'Dear Ilya,' the accompanying note reads, 'I miss you so much. You've been gone for so long now but I still think about you every day. I miss your stupid jokes and dramatic speeches. But most of all I miss simply talking to you about the daily stuff. I figured you might feel the same, so I sent you a diary.Write in it and pretend you're talking to me. I hope it helps, if even a little bit. I know it does for me.Love, Pasha'
Relationships: Asra/Julian Devorak
Comments: 65
Kudos: 33





	1. 1 January

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Welcome to this little experiment called "Let's see if Lona can keep up with a daily diary".
> 
> I'll be posting an entry a day, starting from when Julian arrives first at the palace to... Well... Wherever this experiment takes us.

1Jan

Dear diary,

Isn't that how you're supposed to start these things? Wouldn't want to break the unwritten rules of keeping a journal on the first page. Journal, not diary, thank you Pasha.

Anyway, I just arrived at the palace. I should probably ~~upack~~ unpack instead of ramble my inane ramblings. But as a profound genius once said: I don't wanna. It's late, I'm tired, and I'm in desperate need of a drink. And I might just be a tiny bit lonely. I'm not quite sure why I accepted Lucenzo's offer to become his court physician. Although the amount of rum and flirting involved might have been somewhat of a factor.

Ah well. A new year, a new adventure! This year I'm going to really ~~lif~~ live life. Enjoy it to the fullest. Find that special someone, maybe. Pft, what am I saying, who in their right mind would stay with me? A non-licensed doctor? But, as they say, hope springs eternal.

To a new year!


	2. 2 January

2 Jan

My first day at work and second day at the palace. I met Lucenzo's wife today, the Countess of Vesuvia, Nadia. She is a wonderful woman! Warm, kind, funny, and gorgeous to boot. It's not hard to see why Lucio would want to marry her. It is, however, mindboggling as they why she ever consented to marry him. Although she did tell me that it's custom for her people to marry someone as a sort of business transaction. Still. I reckon she still got the short end of the stick.

She gave me a tour of the palace and lent me some books about Vesuvia. She said they'd helped her tremendously when she first arrived. They're guides to the best places in town. Restaurants, pubs, markets, theatres! I love this woman already.

In the afternoon I tended to Lucio. He claims to still be angry about the time I cut off his arm. Y'know. To save his life. Dramaqueen. And that's saying a lot, coming from me. But his supposed anger hasn't ever stopped him from coming on to me. "This mechanical arm has got a few... interesting... tricks," he said as I gave him a physical, "Want to join me later so I can demonstrate them?"  
Charming.

He had some sort of audience in the city later. An old man, too ill to even sit up, had begged for Lucio's presence. Nadia insisted he'd go. The man had no more relatives, no living friends. That's what scares me the most. Dying. Alone.

Apparently there's a disease running rampage in the city. Killing man, woman and child alike. Lucio paled, clamped a handkerchief to his face, and fled. Nadia en I stayed behind, promising the man we'll find a cure.

I challenge [you] to find someone with a more depressing first day.


	3. 3 January

3 Jan

Today was a slightly better day. It started out horrible though. We got word that the old man we visited yesterday passed away last night. He succumbed to this mysterious illness. It's weird. I've seen countless men die in battle, none of them really got to me. But the death of this old man has me rattled. And with his death also came another introduction. Valdemar. Head physician. My boss. They give me the actual creeps. Green skin, red eyes and, get this, actual horns! Well, maybe not actual actual horns because they were bandaged. But it would not surprise me at all. They did file their teeth into needlesharp fangs. Psycho. [Doodle of Valdemar]. I'm not saying this because of how they look. No, it's because they were absolutely elated and giddy at the thought of performing an autopsy on the old-timer. "Digging around for internal organs is always so soothing".  
...Ugh.

To get rid of ~~that~~ the disgusting taste that conversation had left in my mouth, I used the guides Nadia had given me and went straight for the worst tavern on the list: The Rowdy Raven. I made a new friend: Bartholomew. He makes the worst delicious Salty Bitters I've ever tasted. I don't believe in soulmates, but he's a close contender.


	4. 4 January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 4! Whoo! All spelling and/or grammar errors are intentional and drunk!Julian's fault u.u

4 Jan

Salty Bitters, WAHEY!

I've had... Some. A few. Like, 5? Maybe? Barth says I've had "enough". Which is not a measurable amount! Definitely more than 3 though. I might be drunk. Barth says I'm definitely drunk. Definitely! I'm a doctor. I should know when I'm drunk! I should ~~examnation~~ ~~axemin~~ examin myself. Orrr better yet, find someone to perform a physical on me. Bart is trying to reassure me by saying that I'm definitely (there's that word again) drunk and don't need a physical. Thing is... I may not need it, but I do want it. It was an admirable attempt though.

Admirable... You know who I really admire? Pasha. She never let's anything get her down. Dead parents? Pasha kept us both from spiralling into ruin. No money or food? Pasha will scrounge something up. I love her so much, my baby sister. The only thing I've seen her genuinely upset about was my leaving. But even that she forgave me quickly. I had to leave, though. One day she'll understand. Because that's just how Pasha is. 

I miss her.


	5. 5 January

5 Jan

Dear future me,

We should never, ever, ever drink this much ever again. Ever. I feel absolutely terrible. My head is ~~throbbe~~ throbbing, when I even think about food my stomach rebels, and something crawled in my mouth while I was sleeping and died there. After taking a shit. Down my throat. Or, in short, I'm hungover. I'm never drinking again.

And while I have your attention, can I also request that we do something about our flirting skills? No matter what drunk!us says, 'Do you believe in love at first sight? No? Want me to walk past again?' is not suave or funny or even remotely attractive.

You know what we should do? We should audition at the theatre! I saw a pamphlet asking for male actors for a production called: Midsummer Night Fever Dreams. We can't deny the world our dramatic genius! To stand on a stage again, I can't wait. I love acting, I really do. Being able to transfer all my passion and flair into a character and then bringing all that to life in front of an actual audience. It's the best feeling in the world. So I'm signing us up for this audition, future me, and you are going to nail it. 

Ugh. I'm going back to bed.


	6. 6 January

6 Jan

Today was my first day off work. I spent it exploring the city a bit more, really being a tourist. Vesuvia is an interesting city, to say the least. The canals are absolutely gorgeous and I will certainly take a gondola ride in the very near future. The aqueduct system is ancient and nothing short of ingenious. So efficient and extremely impressive.

My first stop was at the floating market. The smells made my mouth water, the sights made my heart sing. Stalls on several floating platforms, who even comes up with this? I'm in love. I resisted the urge to buy everything in sight and simply made do with a small package of cherry cookies frosted with powdered sugar.

My stroll took me past the ~~colli~~ coliseum, which loomed silently for now, but Lucio invited me to an 'event' tomorrow afternoon. There was fresh sawdust in the centre circle, which... Usually does not bode well. The structure itself was beautiful, but strangely intimidating.

Onwards my feet took me! To the Community Theatre. Be still my beating heart. I signed up for the open auditions in a few days. I didn't want to leave just yet so I spent some time watching the actors rehearse. My time will come soon!

As I returned back home I thought I saw a familiar face disappear around a corner. I'm sure I'm mistaken...

I'm back at my room at the palace now and eating one of my delicious cookies. The taste of the cherries brings backs good memories. I still have a headache though. That hangover is persistent.


	7. 7 January

7 Jan

It wasn't a hangover. It's getting worse! Headache, fever, nausea, vomiting, painful joints.

The old man from last week! He must have infected me!

I have the plague.

I'm going to die...

Please don't let me die...


	8. 8 January

8 Jan

Okay, I've somewhat calmed down by now. I've told the servants to stay away, in an attempt to quarantine myself. I've also sent word to Quaestor Valdemar, warning them of my current... Condition and the fact that I sneezed on the Count yesterday at the Coliseum. They need to know. What if I infected him?

I couldn't sleep last night. My head was spinning with the idea that I'm going to die. Add to that the symptoms of this plague (it now also includes a throat ache and stuffed nose. Absolutely brutal) and these last 24 hours have been a literal nightmare. I keep thinking back on my woefully short life, pondering all the rights I've done. And obviously all the wrongs as well. Guilt crept up on me. 

I never should've left Pasha. I never should have left Mazelinka. I never should have left Nevivon. I never should have left. Period. I shouldn't have allowed our parents to set sail that one faithful day. Pasha doesn't even remember them, but I do. We knew there was a storm brewing. If I'd sabotaged the sails, the nets, the anchor... They'd still be alive. I should never have become a doctor. All those poor souls whose bodies I've mutilated. Sure, to save their lives. But without an arm or leg!

The servant just told me that the Quaestor is on their way. Probably to give me a quick examination and ask my permission for an autopsy. To cut me open.

I'm going to give her that permission.

Anything to cure the plague and keep others from the same suffering I'm currently experiencing.


	9. 9 January

9 Jan

Soooo... Valdemar gave me a quick yet disturbingly thorough check-up yesterday. I was certain they'd order for my transfer to a quarantine ward. Maybe already schedule my autopsy!

But they tutted as they took off their gloves, replacing them with fresh ones, "You're not a particularly bright young man, are you?" They rapped their rubbery knuckles against my poor pounding head, "As I suspected. Empty." They turned on their heel and strode out of my room, telling me before they closed the door: "Influenza. Sleep and fluids. Nothing to worry that pretty dumb head of yours over."

Sooooo... Yeah. Awkward. At least I can audition tomorrow!


	10. 10 January

10 Jan

Ugh. I'm dying. I'm dead. Kill me. But I'm pretty sure I nailed that audition. Mrs. Fern said as much. She's the director.

So, see, the audition was for the main male lead, Hernia. He is a dapper and rogueish fellow with an unholy crush on Lisanne. Lisanne loves him back, but so does this lady called Dementia. This pisses off Helvetica, who is, in turn, in love with Dementia. None of them know about each other's feelings. 

One day Hernia falls deathly ill and Dementia takes care of him, but then he gets fever dreams about Lisanne and things get rather... Steamy. Hernia survives though, no worries.

Anyway, so I'm there, having a ridiculously high fever, throwing up everything I've ever eaten in my life, and up comes Mrs. Fern, saying, "You! You there! Your sickly pale complexion, your empty sunken eyes, your death rattle! You're perfect! Lie there and pretend you're on the brink of death, having a fever dream." So I did as she asked and lied down to act.

I woke up an hour later with Mrs. Fern calling me an acting genius.

Rehearsal starts next week. I wonder if I can prolong this flu until opening night...


	11. 11 January

11 Jan

Still sick. But probably no longer on the verge of death. Probably. I'm actually marginally feeling better! Lucio sent a servant to inquire about my health. Not because he cares. Oh no. It's because he has heard about this anti-age cream and wants me to test the concoction before slathering it all over his face.

Nadia also sent a servant. With food, tea and some flowers. There was also a short note with it, " _Get well soon!_ " Guess who I like better?

Speaking of the Count, I didn't tell you yet what happened in the Coliseum. It was gruesome. Lucenzo was ecstatic, nearly frothing at the mouth with excitement. The fight was between two barely clad men, going up against each other with nothing but some chains and their fists. With every blow the crowd went mad, demanding blood. And it wasn't just the lowlifes in the city either. Quaestor Valdemar was there, muttering "Yes, yes!" when teeth went flying. And judging from the fancy clothes, the number of nobles was at least thrice that of the riff-raff.

Out of the two men, the huge looming one with the dirtiest black hair won the fight. He stood over his opponent, fists up in the air, empty eyes raised at Lucio in a question he already knew the answer to. "Kill him," Lucio screamed. A huge fist struck in a single powerful blow. ... I hated it.


	12. 12 January

12 Jan

I'm up, out & about! Well, sort of out. I've been unpacking and exploring the palace. With Nadia's permission, of course. Unpacking went fast enough. Most of my clothes were already unpacked since I've been here for more than a week. And as a pirate and field medic I've learned to travel light. So all that was really left were a couple of keepsakes and knick-knacks. Pasha's old scarf, our old spinning top, a locket with our parents' portraits.

That old spinning top always brings a smile to my face. I packed it by accident when I left home, never had the heart to get rid of it. Pasha was barely five years old when I left, and I spent hours with her just playing with that spinning top. She'd giggle at the humming sound and the twirling colours. I should probably send it back with my next letter.

We both have a locket like this. I used to stare at the portraits for hours after the accident. Not so much these last few years. Sometimes I take the locket out and wonder what they'd look like now if they were still alive.

[Pencil drawing of a woman's face with the caption 'Crappy author's rendition of mom']

I also wonder what Pasha looks like now. Gorgeous probably.

During my exploring I stumbled on the largest ballroom I've ever laid my eyes on. It's also the only ballroom I've ever laid eyes on. So there's that.

Don't tell anyone, but I've never actually danced. Not really. I mean, not proper dancing with grand clothing, tantalizing dance partners, soft music and titillating perfume, making your head spin. With the crowd suddenly parting to reveal the love of your life suddenly standing there. I want to dance lightly on my feet. Twirling, bowing, stepping gracefully before disappearing into a secluded spot with my love where we whisper, giggle and-

I need to learn how to dance.


	13. 13 January

13 Jan

All recovered and ready to get back to work! First order of business: Check out that anti-ageing cream Lucio brought home last week. Unfortunately, I was too late. By maybe 30 seconds. And it was so much worse than I feared it would be. See, I was afraid he'd smear it over his face before I had a chance to see if it's acid, bleach, or frog sperm. Y'know, the usual. But no, he'd forced one of the servants to do that for him. Luckily, no faces melted. Less luckily, I came in just as he shoved the last spoonful in his mouth. Yes, his mouth. He was eating the stuff. When I asked him what the hell he thought he was doing, he said that ageing starts from within. He's... He's... Insane. My boss is nuts. So far it seems to have had no negative side effects. Unless you count having lavender breath as something 'bad'. He must've really wolfed the stuff down too, he's had the hiccups for well over two hours now. Serves him right.

After that wonderful experience I went to the market in search of a decent leech vendor. Something tells me I'm going to be needing them soon with Lucenzo pulling stupid stunts like that. I found a satisfactory stall with quality leeches and bought five kilos worth. As I rushed back to the palace and caught a flash of the most gorgeous violet eyes, I was instantly lovestruck. We locked eyes for only a second, but it seemed to last forever. Just as suddenly as they appeared, the crowd closed in again and they were gone, leaving only the fragrance of Jasmin blossom behind. I can't seem to stop thinking about those eyes and I've bought a bottle with Jasmine eau de toilette to spray on my pillow tonight.

I need to see them again...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo, so Julian really jumps into things with both legs at once, doesn't he?
> 
> So anyway, hope you're enjoying this as much as I do! Please let me know if you like this or if you have any suggestions.


	14. 14 January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeey all! Thanks for sticking with me so far!  
> As always, don't be too shy to kudos or comment if you like this. Also, let me know if you have any suggestions!

14 Jan

I'm exhausted. The count still has the hiccups and has been unable to sleep because of it. Which means that nobody gets to sleep. I've tried almost every remedy known to me. I made him chug a glass of water as fast as he could. He refused to drink more after ten glasses. Then I made him gargle, but he gave that up after fifteen minutes as well. Pulling hard on his tongue made him punch me but did nothing for his hiccups. Breathing in a paper bag, eating sugar, hopping on his left leg with his left-hand pinky in his right ear. Nothing helps! I briefly thought he was cured when Quaestor Valdemar snuck up behind him and said, "My Lord-". Lucio jumped and yelled. Sadly, after about five seconds he hiccuped again. Funny thing though, when I thanked Valdemar for trying to help by scaring Lucio, they seemed surprised and claimed to not know what I was talking about.

I briefly escaped this madness during lunchtime to have tea and tiny sandwiches. I really like Nadia, she's trying very hard to make me feel at home. She says she can relate, being a "foreigner" herself. We talked about our day, our hobbies, stuff like that. She also mentioned that she sometimes gets terrible headaches that last for days. I suspect it's mostly tension and prescribed her a soothing brew before going back to work, where Lucio was pacing his room like a grumpy, wounded bear.

I've taken a few books from the library to my room, researching cures for cream-induced hiccups. I locked the door after Lucio's fifth time barging in with a "Well??". So now I'm in bed, surrounded by the smell of musty book and jasmine.

I should take a nap. Hopefully dream of violet eyes and a bewitching smile.


	15. 15 January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hiccups*
> 
> Don't be shy and comment and/or kudos if you like the fic. And I welcome any and all suggestions!

15 Jan

He still has the hiccups. It's been well over 48 hours since this started. He's had no sleep either yet and is completely exhausted. We've put him in bed, hoping that his body will at least rest. A bigger issue is that he now hiccups once every two seconds and this prevents him from eating anything that isn't liquid. He's growing weaker with each passing hour. We also noticed that he sometimes just... Passes out. He has no recollection of it happening and it lasts until the next hiccup. Afterwards he's a bit dazed and disoriented. We think his body is just desperately trying to sleep and simply shuts down. This is absolutely bonkers! We actually fear he might die if this continues. Valdemar said they're looking forward to the autopsy because they never dissected a count's brain before... The servants are sent out to the city in a mad scramble to find the cream-vendor.

Nadia is taking it all well. She's concerned, but does a remarkable job keeping the palace running smoothly.

No sleep for me tonight. More research. I can't let my boss... My patient die under my watch.


	16. 16 January

16 Jan

72 hours and counting. He's started hallucinating. He paces the room, unable to sit or lie down, checking every shadow and jumping at his own. At one point he grabbed a servant by the shirt, shook the poor man violently and yelled, "You'll never find me, mother! Never!" in his face before letting go. He also raved about a giant worm hiding in the palace gardens and kept calling his dogs because he wanted to go hunting.

Obviously we didn't allow the dogs into his bedchambers, which he took as a personal affront. He drew his sword and swung at me. "I killed you once before, father," he snarled, "I'll gladly do it again!" It took four of us to subdue him. Quite impressive for a significantly weakened one-armed noble.

No sign of the vendor yet. Nadia said she knows a witch who might be able to help. We're grasping at straws if we really think magic is the solution.

The witch has been summoned to help first thing tomorrow. 

Yes, we're that desperate.


	17. 17 January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WHOO, well over 2 weeks and still going strong!

17 Jan

It's him! I can't believe it! He was here. We spoke! Well. He talked with those gorgeous full lips of his while I stared into his violet eyes and blushed. I may have flirted with him while he was examining Lucenzo. "Once you're done with him, you can do me," may have come out of my mouth. Possibly also something along the lines of, "I'd love to see what other kinds of magic those fingers of yours are capable of." All I remember is his laugh. It's such a free laugh. He doesn't hold back. He gave me something to fall asleep easier, some sort of tea. I told him I'd stayed up with Lucio to find a cure, and he was so worried for me! I'm in love. I need to get closer to him. At least now I know his name: Asra <3 <3\. So manly.

Oh, Lucio is fine or whatever. Asra gave him a root to chew on to offset the cream. He's dead asleep.

Asra... My hero.

J 💓 A


	18. 18 January

18 Jan

I have never ever slept so good before in my life. Not even on Mazelinka's brews! I had a lovely dream, too. I dreamt that Asra and I were on Mazelinka's ship, below deck. We were alone in my dimly lit hut, lying on my pillow covered bed. He was stroking my chest as I played with his silky smooth hair. We kissed, made out... Made love.

And then I bloody well woke up... Alone.

Fuck. Me.

Please.


	19. 19 January

19 Jan

Today was the first rehearsal for Midsummer Night Fever Dreams and I have to say, I nailed it. Even when I'm not teetering on the edge of life and death, I'm a natural at playing this role. I met all my fellow actors and we're quite excited! Opening night is in four months, which is quite soon already. After rehearsal, I went for some drinks with Victoria, who plays Dementia, and Antonio, who plays Helvetica. They're a couple off-stage as well and told me that they're going to get married this summer! They took me to a bar in the Lower District, called the Winding Vine. It's not as charming as the Raven and they don't serve Salty Bitters, but I guess it isn't bad. It has cozy booths and smooth, fragrant wines.

I have to admit that I was more than a little bit jealous of Victoria and Antonio as they stole glances at each other. They are obviously madly in love with each other and I can't help but want this too. I know that I don't deserve a true and pure love like they have. Not after selfishly leaving like I did. But I want it so badly. Victoria must've seen the longing in my eyes because at one point she asked if I "have someone". I immediately thought of Asra and shook my head sadly. She patted my hand, "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find someone soon. Maybe even multiple someones." I nodded as she winked.

I hope she's right. Her extra long hug as we said goodbye was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me this long! Don't be shy and drop me a message 😁


	20. 20 January

20 Jan

Lucio finally got out of bed. He didn't get dressed, mind you, he came waltzing into the dining room during breakfast wearing nothing but a leopard skin bathrobe and goat slippers. Not goat fur. Slippers in the shape of goats. I was suddenly very interested in my coffee and toast, so I didn't witness anything (thank the Gods for small mercies) but I'm quite sure that the robe and slippers were in fact the only things he was wearing. How is it that I'm so sure? Well, Nadia's shriek of "Heavens, Lucio! Close that robe and put that thing away! People are _eating_!" I nearly choked on my toast.

The rest of the day I spent in my room, finally writing a letter back to Pasha. I've been putting it off way too long. I mean, of course there's been my new job and illness and the hiccups of doom, but those are hardly good reasons, are they? It felt good, almost like really talking to her. I didn't tell her about Asra.

I decided to hang on to the spinning top a bit longer. She probably doesn't miss it yet. Next time.


	21. 21 January

21 Jan

Today was finally a normal day. No new jobs, no plague, no hiccups, no nothing. Just Lucio's regular checkups, shopping for medicine and updating the books in the evening.

I like evenings. It's got the best of two worlds. The calm and quiet when you're finally in your room after a stressful day at work. Just winding down, drinking tea, reading, writing.

But also the lively, rowdy, bustle at the inns and taverns. Where you can let off steam, sing at the top of your lungs, have dinner while chatting with a random stranger.

I love it.


	22. 22 January

22 Jan

I had quite a scare today. Well, not really a scare in the sense of being afraid. Just... Startled. Shocked. I was walking through the palace gardens when I saw a man who looked exactly like my father! I was stunned and didn't even realize I was walking towards him until I was close enough to touch him. Which I almost did. I caught myself when I noticed he had blue eyes, not green. But other than that, they could've been twins.

And all the time this little voice in the back of my head was screaming that it couldn't be him. That he and mom died during that storm. But as I reached out and whispered, "Dad?" my heart sang with hope. It sang with the sudden belief, the unshakeable conviction that he and mom were somehow alive and well. Followed immediately by having my singing heart shattered into a million pieces when this man, this stranger, turned around.

I never wanted to have one of my mom's hugs more than at that moment.

I miss my parents...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Julian :(


	23. 23 January

23 Jan

Nadia invited me for lunch today. I think she noticed I was a bit down because she went all out on tiny sandwiches, tea, and fizzy drinks. We talked about our parents, expectations, and what became of both of those. Then she surprised me by asking me if I ever considered taking on students. It took everything I had to not burst out laughing then and there. Me? Teaching? Doesn't she know that I'm unlicensed? That most of my medical knowledge comes from patching up kids on the battlefield? How would I go about teaching others when my own mentor has been the Grim Reaper himself?

I answered with a vague noncommittal grunt and shoved a tiny sandwich in my mouth. Shortly after that I fled with a lame ass excuse. I've been hiding out in the Rowdy Raven for the rest of the day, trying to drown my sorrows and thoughts, almost literally. Salty Bitters, am I right?

I wonder what dad would've thought of me if it had really been him yesterday. What he would've thought about who and what I've become. Would he be proud because I'm a count's physician? Would he be disgusted by the river of blood I had to wade to achieve this? Would he be enraged that I left his baby girl alone to pursue this career? 

Guess I'll never know.

Salty Bitters, wahey.


	24. 24 January

[Unintelligible scribbling] jan

Sad. No write.

Salty Bitters

WAHEY!

Miss you,

Mom

💓


	25. 25 January

25 Jan

I hate hangovers. They're an unfair punishment for what would otherwise be an enjoyable experience.

I saw Asra again today. I was making my way back home in the very very early morning, bemoaning my fate (Both long and short term) when I heard someone softly say, "I can probably give you something to help with that?" I whipped around, ready to ask what kind of miracle salve helps with _Dead Parents??_ but then I found myself eye to eye with him. I'm sure I instantly turned beet red and was acutely aware of my alcohol breath, three days unwashed clothes and uncombed mop of hair. Asra just smiled at me. "Uh, what?" I asked intelligently. He gestured at me, "The hangover. I've got something for that back at my shop. If you don't mind taking a bit of a detour with me?" And he held out his hand.

I was about to take his hand and accept his invitation, when I suddenly saw a snake slither across the back of his neck and into his shirt, down the sleeve. I was obviously hallucinating, so I told him I'd be fine and my way.

I hate hangovers.


	26. 26 January

26 Jan

Can't talk today.

Am on a date!

With Asra!


	27. 27 January

27 Jan

Okay! So! Yesterday morning I was minding my own business over breakfast when Nadia suddenly hurries over and all but drags me off, claiming she needs a third person for some sort of reading-session. I had no idea what she meant, but her just tow me to her boudoir. Which, just saying, was gorgeous. But that's besides the point. 

Because who was sitting there smack dab in the middle of a mountain of pillows, looking gorgeous and ravishing as ever? Yes! Exactly! He gave me a dazzling smile and patted the pillows next to him, "Sit down," he said, "I'm just about to read Nadia's fortune. Care to join?" And he pulled out a pack of cards. I didn't hear a single word that was said after I sat down. I just sat and drank in everything about his presence.

We stayed behind after Nadia left. "I don't actually need three people for tarot," He took my hands in his, "I just needed to see you again." I died. Right there. Well, not literally. But, y'know.

Then I got a near heart attack when a FUCKING SNAKE CRAWLED ON MY FREAKING ARM AND _SQUEEZED_. So, turns out I didn't hallucinate the first time. Her name is Faust and she likes to squeeze.

We spent the whole day just walking and talking about nothing. He dropped me off back home at the stroke of midnight, gave me a peck on the cheek and vanished.

I'm never washing that cheek again.

[Doodles of hearts]


	28. 28 January

28 Jan

Today is not my day. At all. I was having an amazing dream about Asra, we were flying through fluffy cotton candy clouds, gazing at stars made from crystallised sugar. We were just about to take a bite when I was suddenly attacked by animated chains that wrapped themselves around my ankles. They dragged me back to the ground, away from Asra. He kept flying up, not even noticing that I was gone, wrenched from his grasp. The chains snuck up my pants, giving me quite some tense seconds, before moving across my chest and settling around my biceps. And just a fraction of a second before I hit the ground it squeezed my arm and then booped my nose. Which woke me up, shrieking and flailing. I opened my eyes and looked straight into a pair of tiny nostrils and a flicking tongue. Faust. Great. 

She brought me a note from Asra, saying he was sorry, but he had to cancel today's dinner plans. No reason. Just a cancellation. Then I got slobbered on by Lucio's dogs. "They only like me, blabla." Sure Lucio, whatever dude, tell that to the drool stains on my pants. His stupid parrot shat on my lunch. All his fucking pets are menaces.

I couldn't talk to Nadia because she had another migraine. I should give her a willow extract tincture later, hopefully it helps her a bit. Dinner at the Raven was lonely and disappointing because it was Barth's day off.

Today sucked. Except that I got a new pen. It rocks. I love it.


	29. 29 January

29 Jan

I swear that snake is going to give me a heart attack! She snuck up on me while I was in the bathtub this time! I need to have a word with Asra about her behaviour, a man should be able to get naked without having to worry about his parts getting squeezed! I swear she's doing it on purpose...

She brought me another note from Asra. He apologized for flaking out yesterday and claims to have a good reason. Which he can't tell me yet. He then offered to take me out on a proper date tomorrow.

Of course I accepted, but I did wait an hour before sending my answer back with Faust, to let him know I'm still displeased with his behaviour.


	30. 30 January

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey welcome back and thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this first month! (yes, yes, January has 31 days, I KNOW I KNOW)  
> Please leave me some comments or kudos and tell me what you like, what you don't like and what you would love to see in the future.

30 Jan

I'm madly, insanely, head over heels in love. It's delicious and simultaneously maddening at the same time. He took me for a stroll through the palace gardens. At first I was slightly insulted, because a date in your backyard is not exactly the height of romance. He picked me up at 6 PM, Faust coiled around his neck and that smirk that makes my blood boil on his lips.

"You'll see," was his answer when I asked him about his plans. He squeezed my hand when he saw my expression (again with the squeezing! Faust has a bad influence on Asra. Or maybe it's the other way around?) and told me it wasn't what it seemed. What it seemed was a walk in my own backyard. But then he took me into the center of the maze, where he had set up a picnic! Complete with candlelight and rose petals. I was stunned. The food was heavenly, so I can add 'being a cook' to the list of things I adore him for.

When we finished eating, the stars were sparkling overhead. We laid on our backs and watched the stars, while I told him about the dream I had earlier (not hte bit about the falling. That might've ruined the mood). He listened quietly, his fingertips tracing patterns on the back of my hand. When I finished talking he propped himself up on his elbows. "Close your eyes."

I thought I knew where this was going, so I eagerly complied, wishing I hadn't eaten that garlic-y pasta just moments before. But instead of the long awaited first kiss I'd expected, he put his fingertips on my closed eyelids (which was incredibly weird) and put his lips next to my ear, "I want to experience that dream with you."

And next thing I know, we're both up in the air, flying through cotton candy clouds, just like in my dream! Except without the falling this time! We swam through nothingness, nibbld on sugary stars, played hide and seek in delicate caramel nebulas and, after what seemed like days but felt too short anyway, finally floated back down to land on silky smooth green sheets. There I took him in my arms and pinned him to the ground, revelling in the delightful sound of his breathless laugh before kissing him. Or, tried to, anyway.

Because just before my lips touched his, I woke up on my back on that picnic blanket, Asra already on his feet.

He took me back to my room and left me with another light peck on my cheek. 

I am so confused right now.


	31. 31 January

31 January

I. Am. So. Confused.

Nothing today. No note. No kiss. No squeeze.

Just dogslobber and a count who keeps pinching my ass!


	32. 1 February

01 Feb

A whole month! It has flown by! Sadly it seems that this plague is claiming more and more victims with each passing day. Lucio is very nervous about it, though I'm sure it's not out of sympathy for his subjects. Five more deaths this week, most of them from the Lower District. I guess the Winding Vine is not the best place for a second date...


	33. 2 February

2 Feb

Another death. Again in the Lower District. Lucio is talking about "taking bold measures". This worries me.

Still no word from Asra, but I did get another early morning squeeze from Faust.


	34. 3 February

3 Feb

Mazelinka is here! In Vesuvia, I mean, not in my room. Wanna know how I know? She yanked my collar as I was strolling back from the market, then dragged me into an alley.

"I thought it was you last month," she hissed at me, before launching into a tirade about how incredibly irresponsible I've been. Then she clipped me over the ear and pulled me into a hug. All the while I'm just... Flabbergasted. Mazelinka! Here!

The full realization of just how much I miss my family suddenly hit me. I broke down in sobs and didn't stop until we said goodbye five hours later.

She's here!


	35. 4 February

4 Feb

Catching up with Mazelinka tonight. Two more deaths. Lucio is calling his drastic measures 'The Great Cleanse'. Which is worrying me more than words can express.

More tomorrow.


End file.
